Dear Bride to be,
We your bridesmaids, have a few things to say.
We adore you. We love you. We would do anything for you.EXCEPT wear that dress that you pointed out in the magazine last week.
We are so happy that you are getting married, and we love your Fiance (well all of us except you-know-who, but that’s a different story all together), but if we have to hear the proposal story ONE MORE TIME we will gag you with that Tiffany’s box you carry around in your purse to prove where that rock you wave around came from.
Helping you plan your wedding is our duty and responsibility and we will all pitch in and do all we can. BUT if you call at 3 am AGAIN to tell us about the epiphany you just had about floral arrangements, we will be forced to confiscate and destroy your iPhone with its “Bride to be” glitter cover.
When the big day comes, we will all stand by your side, hold up your dress when you pee, fetch you champagne in between picture sessions, apply your bandaids to the blisters that your gorgeous but one size too small shoes cause on your heels. We will dance with your new husbands weird cousins and put up with your drunk aunt and her stories about how she always knew you would marry so well…. but so help us if your creepy uncle tries to cop a feel, there will be a dance floor smack down.
Remember that being your bridesmaids is our honor BUT not our reason to live…and we will all get through this in one piece.